Gambar yang Mengundang Kontroversi

Nak tengok sangat khann..nah, amik!

Komen please!

Ayayayayaaaaiiiii.....(i'm in deep shit *erm well..literally la*)

The day I dread has arrived.

The day where the picture of Hisham and me, urmm, in a pose yang aku sendiri malu. And please, jangan fikir yang bukan-bukan ohkay. In that pic, we were directed to pose dekat2. AArggghh..regret la amik gambar tuh.I'm not like dat laaa...Mesti orang dah fikir bukan2 pasal aku kan????Daymnnnnn...

The story is like this,

We were directed by his boss to pose like that, since we are going to get hitch kan kononnye dulu, so she asked or rather directed us to pose macam tu. Like how?You see for urself la kan. Gi naik train rapidkl, and see for urself. He was like practically hugging me. And sebenarnya aku terkejut yang dia rela nak amik picture in that pose. I know to some of you, you may say aku ni kolot, just pose macam tu je. What's the fuss?? Well, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH...Noya memang seorang yang sometimes agak kolot.DAYYYYYMMMMMMMMNNNNN..menyesal la amik gambar tuh. Especially bile aku dah putus tunang ni. And of course, ramai la orang-orang kat office ni yang bertanya whether yang pose macam tu is husband-wife?Well, NEWSFLASH, NEWSFLASH! They are not!In fact, dah tade ape2 connection. ha.

Tapi kan, my mom just laughed after I told her that I am embarassed by the pic. She said it was my past, and if they ask about hisham, just say the truth ah. Well, I'm quite surprised by my mom's reaction!Dia tak marah punnnn...aiyayayaiyayaiiiii!!!!

Tapi mestilah risaukan,sebab sah2 akan ada orang mengata, sebab2nya:
1) Aku pakai tudung, pose dekat2 macam tu
2) He's not my hubby, sekarang ni pulak, dah tade ape2 dgn dia
3) Trains tu dah dibawak merata2 dah niiiii cik senah oiiiiiiiiii

Maluuuuuuuuu....Lepas ni kuar umah nak pakai purdah la cik senah oiiii...

*Tapi kan, I looked good in that pic ah!hahaha..Flawless skin, glowing gitewwww senahhh!!! Sangat vain khannnn??*

Owh..balik ke mode rase guilty dan malu balik nih!

DAY 1 of NO CAFFEINE, NO SWEET FOOD PLEDGE!

haiyohhh...it's now 4.14 p.m., and I can barely open my eyes. Today is the 1st day of my no caffeine, no sweet food day. And so far, I haven't drink any drinks containing caffeine - Coffee, nescafe, but erm...a bit of root beer this morning. (Just a sip!)Hehe.

Regarding the sweet food, I failed to restraint myself from eating that darn Oreos!!!!Daymmmnnnn!!!!!Get them away from meeeeeee.....

However, I'm proud of myself - for I have beginning to stick to the "Only Drink Green Tea the Whole Day Routine". Ha, ambik ko!Nak gi toiletttt je dah nihhhh!!!

Maynnnn...I need something to chewwwww...Nak tertido dah niii..And the fact that it's raining heavily outside won't help me eitherrrrr...

I need my caffeine fixxxxx!!!!

10 things (and more!) I Hate/Dislike/Make Me Annoyed (Part 1)

I am in the midst of marah/bengang/upset.Tgh rasa macam ni, tapi dgr lagu Robbie Williams - "She's The One".How inappropriate!Jap, nak tukar lagu ah."If I Were a Boy" bole?Hmmmm..tanak ah.Tukar,tukar."Tristania" - by Nightwish,bole?Tanak ah. Lagu macam seram.Dah la duk sorang2 ni.Okay ah, "Learn to Fly" - Foo Fighters (yeah, lagu lama, i know. Tapi tonite I fell like listening to Foo Fighters.Dunno why).

Ohkay..Take a deep breath first. Yes. Feel a bit calm now.

Now, now. Let me list 10 things and more of the things/situation/people that i dislike/annoyed. I was inspired to list this because I feel kinda annoyed just now. Tapi, please take note that this post is not meant to diss or related to anybody. General saja nih. So, if any of you terasa dengan post kali ni. Thousand apologies!

1) Dislike/Annoyed when people ignore/do not pay attention to what you are saying - Important things lagi tuh!
Yup. It is not easy for me to talk about my emotions (talk is satu hal, tulis dalam blog is another hal yang lain), or matters yang berkaitan dengan future. Call it EGO, or wuteva you want,but I find it hard to express how I feel, without the fear of being laughed at or ignored. And look what happened.Tu pasal malas nak cakap.Tengah semangat cakap nih, pegi pulak pay attention to benda lain. Fine. Go ahead.Talk to the hand esok ye.

2) Punctuality
Yes, I may sound like a HR staff talking bout punctuality,but no, this is not only related to work, but also other people's time. Yes, you may have all the time in the world to get yourself ready and all, but please, if it does not involving other people's time then by all means,SILAKAN. But if it involves with MY time, then please be more considerate of the effort that I take to be punctual;on time. Please take your calculator and sum it up for me please, I take about 10 - 15 minutes for shower, then 10 - 15 minutes for prayer, another 10 minutes to iron my pants+shirt+tudung, another 15 minutes for make up, and 5 - 6 minutes to wear the clothes that I have ironed. Yeah, so what if i take 15 minutes for make up saja. Ingat senang ke nak ratakan all those liquids and powders tu. Hah! Tapi I still can be on time. Macamana tu?

3)Tak Faham Bahasa

Adoi. Tak faham bahasa Melayu ke, ke nak I speak in English?Ke Tamil? If i said I cannot make it, that means I cannot make it la. If I said I cannot go, that means I cannot go la. It is sooooooooo simple.But if you are as cute as TYSON BECKFORD, then pass.*Drool*

4) Pemalas

I am not perfect pun, tapi at least jangan la malas sangat kan. Enough said. Tapi kan, ni dah macam out of the topic sikit kan, make some effort to be more presentable kan. First impression sangat penting ohkay (now I sounded like Oprah dah, or macam Dr. Fadzillah Kamsah). Tapi abah pun pernah said to us, be presentable! Jaga image! Being raised by abah, an ex-army, discipline kuat..He taught us adik beradik to be presentable, jangan selekeh! And sampai sekarang, dah terbiasa. I don't know bout my other siblings, but I really take the extra mile, extra effort, to look good and to smell good! No need to buy branded stuff, just beli yang ada kat pharmacy is enough. Trust me, barang-barang yang ada kat pharmacy tu pun ada yang bagus-bagus ye.

5) Melambat-lambatkan Solat/Tak Solat Langsung

Ni bole letak dalam top of the list la. Tapi takpe. Malas nak edit balik.First question, kenapa tak nak solat?Dah tau solat tu wajib, and berdosa if tak buat, tapi stiiiiillll tak nak buat. It is still not too late to start solat. If rasa macam berat sangat nak solat penuh (try la solat penuh), start dulu dengan perform solat 2-3 waktu. Then slowly buat penuh.Tak takut ke balasan esok-esok?Rata-rata sekarang dah ada surau disediakan. So, on what reason do you stand on for not performing solat?????

Lagi satu, lambat tunaikan solat. I admit that, once in a while, this happened to me too, and I'm still trying to improve myself. I will be mad and frustrated at myself for doing this, but sometimes, tak dapat nak elakkan. But InsyaAllah, tengah try ni, to tidak melambat-lambatkan solat. Chaiyuuukkkkk Noya!!!

And for 6th points onwards, to be continued.....

Bengong!

Baru siang tadi, I just realized that aku sangat la ketinggalan zaman!

Why??

Well, macam ni..Pagi td I went for a product briefing dgn GM division aku, so, as usual, I brought my planner and notebook together. While listening to the Ah Pek (hahaha!) punye presentation, aku belek2 planner tu, al-maklumla..dah lama tak belek2 planner tu. Dalam planner tu, ada macam2 notes yang aku tulis,contohnya:

1) My monthly budget - sundries, kutu, hutang, etc, etc

2) Weekly Planning untuk keje - Nak buat ape for that week

3) Bday dates siblings, friends, and tak ketinggalan - my ex-tunang punye bday date (well, what do ya expect, planner tu utk 2009, uoll!!!). Owh, today bday dia. Sempat gak la wished happy bday kat dia. But no presents. Yup.

4) Yang paling nostalgik - part where aku tulis barang2 hantaran yang kitorang plan nk beli and dah beli, names of caterers, budget, theme color and whatnots.

5) Kat calendar punye section - Proposed dates for nikah, sanding and all.(Hah!)

Lepas tu, ada plak receipt booking baju pengantin kat celah2 pocket planner tu! Blur kejap, sejak bila pulak ada receipt tu ah?Bukan dah bagi kat Hisham ke?Ntah!

Anywayyysss...Mula2 ingatkan nak throw away je the planner,tapi macam sayang pulak. Sbb lawa. And colour kulit planner tu my favourite colour - metallic purple ye. Bukan sebab of the memories or notes yang ada dalam tu, tapi sebab dia lawa, and agak mahal gak la harga dia dulu.He he.

Tapi, takpe la kan. Simpan je la kot planner tuh. Takde sape nak marah kan? *wink*

High Maintenance????

This matter has been in my mind for quite awhile.High maintenance kah aku?

Does membeli barang2 yang berkualiti (berkualiti sangatla kan) can be considered as high maintenance?

Or membeli lens (semakin addicted to contact lens ye) setiap 2 bulan boleh dikira as high maintenance?

When i buy things, I prefer if the stuff yang nampak classy, meaning, yang tak akan run out of season sampai bila-bila. Walaupun mahal sikit, tapi berbaloi,sebab benda tu tak out of season..Betul tak? And I'm proud to say that I'm not a fashion victim, because when i buy stuff (clothes, shoes, etc, etc), I will buy it based on the functionality of that particular stuff.

Actually, yang made merapu about high maintenance ni is because my "kembar" at the office told me that, masa mula2 kenal dulu, based on first impression, I looked like someone yang susah untuk di'maintain'.Senang cerita, high maintenance la kan.The idea is quite amusing gak, sebab I never thought myself in that way.It's interesting to know other people's opinion, especially when it is regarding you.

So, what say you about me?I would like to know more....

Wake Me Up When September Ends

It's hard to explain what I feel rite now...partly due to because of abah's demise, and partly because I'm practically starving now. You see, I'm at the office now, haven't had the appetite to eat, and my partner in crime went out to have lunch with her friend today. It's good to not have the appetite, since I have gained weight recently(agaknye la, my thighs ni dah macam berlaga dah bila berjalan). Women and complaints and whinings! Tak sudah2! =P

Recently, lepas satu, satu bende timbul. One of them, my engagement. Well, what about it?I called it quits. No more. Nope. For real. Officially. A hasty decision?Nope.Because of third party?Nope.Tidak.Nehi. Takde sesapa yang trigger aku untuk buat decision ni.

It started when i dreamt about my engagement ring patah into two...

Tapi at that time aku tak gaduh ke ape dengan dia. In fact, time tu kitorang macam biase pegi beli barang hantaran semua. Bile aku dah mimpi macam tu, I started to question myself, ape makna mimpi ni semua?Is is just a dream, or is it a sign?So, to satisfy my curiosity, aku mintak tolong Allah. How? Buat solat sunat istikharah. A friend of mine, she said that the petunjuk/s tak datang in a form of mimpi saja, tapi maybe datang dalam bentuk gerak hati, or perhaps dalam bentuk respons dari orang sekeliling. I didn't dream anything on the nite I did the prayer, tapi on the nite after the prayer.(Bole terima ke?).. In that dream, I bring a man to meet my mom, and my mom alone je..(at that time, I didn't know where abah is, and come to think of it, perhaps is it also a sign that abah takde?Wallahu a'lam).

And I also told my mom about the dream - the ring, and she told me at first that it may be a bad sign, but after a while, she told me to just forget about it (tapi gaya macam tak convincing je cara mak cakap tu, as if she was just trying to calm me down. I noticed her face macam worried gak at that time, but I just kept quiet.)

Then, somehow after I did the prayers, I got the courage to tell him to call it quits...

And bermulalah a chapter or a series of hari-hari di mana mata aku bengkak, 'hujan non-stop' and suprisingly, abah together with my siblings sokong my decision. And yang buat aku sedih is, abah told me that he loved me very much, and couldn't bear seeing me sad. How, oh how, we always take parents for granted kan. Bile dah diorang dah takde, baru rase sangat kehilangan diorang. *sigh* And now, aku dah officially not engaged to sesiapa pun.

Ada rasa menyesal ke?.....

Nope. More to kesian, and I wish that aku tak perlu nak sakitkan hati Hisham, or his family..For his family treated me like I'm one of them. I wish that Hisham tak perlu nak endure all of these, tapi tu la, who are we to foresee semua benda-benda ni kan? Just leave it to Allah, and tawakkal. And mintak-mintak aku tak perlu nak sakitkan hati sesiapa lagi. Amin. (Rasa guilty sebenarnya, sebab terpaksa susahkan my brothers - Along and Angah, thank you so much! Malu sebenarnya. Because of me, diorang have to go to his house and settle this matter. And I'm sorry too.)

Okay, putus tunang punye matter aside....

Sekarang ni, yang nak kene get over ni, rase sedih and incomplete,lepas abah dah takde. At times, rase sedih ni bole tolak tepi. Tapi bile datang masa yang I miss him sangat sangat sangat sangattttttttt,I can't help but cry. Tapi nangis sorang-sorang je dalam bilik, tak nak mak nampak, sebab if mak nampak...I know she will be sad too. Last few days, I cried gile babas inside my room, after I sedekahkan Surah Yassin to abah. The next day, pegi keje dengan mata bengkak. Yerp. I don't care if people stare at my eyes ke ape. They say, this thing usually takes time.....Takpe la..tunggu je la.